Final Moments
by Remilyon
Summary: Rose Tyler Lived for 24 hours.
1. Final Moments Teaser

Final Moments

By Remilyon

Standard disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Doctor Who. Wish I did but I don't, except when I dream and maybe in an Alt Universe but alas I am in this one.

Note: this is going be part of a bigger series but this felt like a quick intro a teaser if you may more to come.

Rose Tyler lived for 24 hours after the Doctor left her on the beach yet again. No one saw it coming, yet in a way everyone was expecting it. Everyone was so worried when she traveled with the Doctor, they thought there would be a day he came back with a body or worse with no body. Her work at Torchwood made them think some alien threat would be the death of her. Everyone thought they knew. Everyone forgot one thing…Rose Tyler was only human and humans are fragile, even in just a human world.

It didn't take much just a small push, a person not paying attention, a set of eyes not really seeing because they were replaying time on a beach, both first and last. So fragile. They said it was quick, that she didn't feel a thing. But how would they know? They were not the one that died, they didn't have those final thoughts, those final moments. They don't know what memories played for the young earth girl worshiped as a goddess and a savior, celebrated on many planets in several universes. But this this is not a story about how Rose Tyler lived no this is a story about her dying and a promise. But let's go back; let's see the 24 hours and 3 minutes that led up to this.

Next up The Beach


	2. The Beach

Final Moments

By Remilyon

Standard disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Doctor Who. Wish I did but I don't, except when I dream and maybe in an Alt Universe but alas I am in this one.

The Beach

**24 Hours and 3 Minutes Before**

"When I last stood on this beach—on the worst day of my life—what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it." Rose was desperately seeking searching his eyes wanting him to say the words, wanting him to give some sign that he wanted her with him even though he was pushing her away.

"I said 'Rose Tyler.'" She waited, but he didn't continue. No words tumbled out of the normally rambling mouth of his. She missed that right now.

"Yeah and? How was that sentence gonna end?" she prompted. _Please_ she begged inwardly. _Please just say the words. I need for you to say the words. I charged across dimensions and broken so many rules just to get to you again. Please_

"Does it need saying?" _Yes_ she wanted to scream, but didn't because this was his choice. It was the wrong choice, but it was his choice. And she was going to give him what he needed in this moment, as she always had. He needed to know she would be okay. So she turned from the brown eyes that were breaking her heart. She turned to a man with similar brown eyes but the doctor wasn't showing out of them his hearts were not in them, his breaking hearts.

"And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?" She watched as he turned towards her. He leaned down and in her ears she heard the whispered words and knew this was the end.

"He was going to say, Rose Tyler I love you." He pulled back and she saw it, the knowledge, she would be staying because that is what The Doctor wanted. This was her future, the one she had been scared of so many years ago after meeting Sarah Jane. He was leaving her behind. She felt the tears building up behind her eyes but couldn't do that him. He had to think she would be happy, he had to be able to let go of her and the only way he could do that is if she in a way let go of him. So she did the one thing she could think of to make it okay for him to leave her again. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to the wrong ones. Pressed her hand to a single heart beat instead of a double, feeling it she had a moment of panic. This wasn't right. So she moved her hand forced it go to his hair and for a moment she pretended the right man had said the words. She pretended that she didn't know she was kissing the wrong man.

**24 Hours Before**

The Tardis door closed and Rose Tyler pulled away. It vanished and she ran after him, she wanted him and she was left on the beach again without him. He hadn't even said goodbye. Her eyes flooded and she felt a hand in hers. Their eyes met and it was a conversation without words. He knew, he's sorry, he thinks this is wrong. And her replied not your fault, sorry, and you're not him. Still holding hands she turned with him and walked away trying to convince herself that she would be happy. That she would have her fantastic life even if it was without The Doctor.

When they reached Jackie, Rose saw her mum trying to read her. Trying to make sure she wasn't going to break down all over again. So she was strong. She smiled and held on tighter to the hand in hers. She had a feeling there would be a breakdown later when they got to a hotel, when they were alone.

"Right so that was some kiss there, and wot are we going to be doing with you now?" Jackie asked as she looked at the human Doctor. "Gonna have to be coming up with a name for you."

She raked her eyes over both the human Doctor and her daughter. She was looking for any sign that this was going to work, that the kiss she had just witnessed meant happy ever after for them. She didn't see it, she didn't see happiness in her daughter's eyes, nor in his. She just hoped this didn't mean it was going to like before with Rose spending all of her time and energy looking for a way back to Him.

Rose watched as he nodded not really listening to her mother. His thoughts like hers were far away from here. They went with the being that had just stranded them both here. Without The Doctor it was like having to learn to breathe all over again. She had done it once and she knew that she could do it again but it would take time. And this man, if he were anything like her first Doctor, second Doctor or Donna Noble then he would learn to breathe again too. They were survivors and he did have her to help. Though maybe not the way the Doctor had thought or planned, but since when did his plans go smoothly.

Jackie Tyler called her husband to arrange transport and a hotel, following her Rose and the human Doctor still held hands trying to process what had just happened but not a single one of them thought of the warning.

"One will still die." A parting, a warning listened to and misunderstood. After all they were all safe, all save one.

**21 Hours and 46 Minutes Before**

The hotel was divine Jackie wouldn't have it any other way but at least two people didn't notice the décor, didn't notice the opulence of it all. These two people just wanted to get to their room. Jackie had tried to get 3 rooms at first but Rose had insisted that 2 would be enough as long as one had two beds.

Slowly they made their way to the room, tired from their trip and hours before it. Once inside the room Rose moved to the window and stared out she heard the almost Doctor moving behind her and could tell he had sat down the bed springs creaked. Her thoughts wondered to Him, her doctor, she took comfort in that he had Donna with him. But his eyes on the beach held no happiness, the brown orbs that she had been so lost in just hours before the beach, held a bleakness and stubbornness. Her thoughts wandered over the past day and she could feel the break happening. The long silence was broken by his voice disturbing the quiet unease.

"We need to talk" it was whispered as though he hated to be the one to break the silence.

She nodded but continued to stare out the window, "Yes we do."

"I'm not Him." the word was stressed as though he felt it needed clarifying. "I can spend the rest of my life with you Rose," She noted that he didn't add Tyler to her name it was different "but it won't be like it would have been with him."

She could tell a long speech was about to start, they seemed to have that in common. So she turned towards him and took in the picture he made. His posture was defeated, slouched on the edge of the bed, his head was hanging down, eyes focused towards the floor. but she knew he was seeing nothing. His hands were pulling at his hair as he tried to sort out what this meant, being left here.

" It's okay…I know," she comforted, "I know that you are not him, you are your own person. He was wrong on that, they both were. You are you. I have no expectations of you. We don't really have a history, even if you have the memories you are a new person but I'm here and I think we'll need each other to make it through in this place."

He cut her off, his eyes leaving the floor and looking at her. "He was wrong to leave you. I'm sorry he left you, I'll be here for you in any way I can but I'm not Him. I know he was trying to do what was right and most of the time he does it perfectly but not this time. I'm sure a part of him knows it too. They were wrong about a lot of things both Donna and him." His eyes bore into hers intensely as though he really wanted her to believe as he spoke the next words " He does love you and he will come to regret his decision to leave you here with me today. He'll miss you and he'll hate it deep inside where he hides all the darkness in him, that I'm here and he is not"

Rose listened, she heard and she felt the tears start to rise. She couldn't do this, not right now, she would mourn for her loss later. She just couldn't take it right now thinking of him without her. There would be no forever not for them.

"Enough about him for now. Enough with the right and the wrong of the situation. Let's focus on here and what we have... You need a name."

Rose thinks he noticed the way the words were choked out as though she could barely speak, barely breathe and it might be true. She fought to keep the tears at bay her throat closing as she struggled to keep from breaking. She needed to focus on something else just for a while longer because she didn't want to focus on all they had lost. Both of them trapped in the wrong world. She needs something else on her mind just for a minute longer to pretend it was okay, that she was okay.

He let her change the subject there would be time to talk about it later. "What do you think about John Smith." Her brow arched and a almost smile graced her lips.

**18 Hours and 12 Minutes Before**

"No you cannot use the name Merlin it is on my list of vetoed names. And nothing from Harry Potter" Rose had to shake her head, who knew picking out a name could be so hard. It had started off as a game like what people play at baby showers picking a letter and then writing as many names as you can starting with that letter. Only they went through the whole alphabet. Along the way they wound up with several lists. The list of names they both had on their lists, the list of names they like from each others list and the list of don't even think about it.

"But Rose that's just not fair it's my name. I should get to choose." He whined.

Rose just glared at him there was no way she was giving in on this one not when she had already given in on Spartacus and Friedlander. Nope not happening.

"Is that a no? But Rose…"

**17 Hours and 4 Minutes Before**

"and that is how I came to be known as Merlin and the legend started, it was all me or well him. Oh that's gonna take some getting used to. So you see I deserve the name Merlin." He ended sounding very proud of his argument for the name.

" Fascinating…" she watching him as he sat up straight certain he had won, "I'm so glad you got to use then because it's not going to happen here. No I am keeping it on the veto list but thank for the story I had wondered about that comment."

**16 Hours and 34 Minutes Before**

Rose held out her hand to him and when he placed his hand in hers she shook it. "Nice to meet you James M Noble." She smiled as she shook her head, " I can't believe I gave in"

James smiled back at her, and in a gloating tone spoke "I knew you would I have excellent negotiation skills, best negotiator in the universe. Rose just to let you know even though I don't feel the way he did there's no one else I'd rather be stuck in an alternate universe with, thank you for taking my mind off it for a while."

The rush of what she was trying to forget surrounded Rose. She looked down at her feet then glanced around the room trying to keep from crying for herself and for this new man. He had traits of both the Doctor and Donna, she wished that they had stayed gotten to know him because as she had said he was his own man and in a way a newborn to the world. He remembered things from the past she had discovered as they searched for a name but it was almost like watching a movie for him. Something he knew of and on some level he could connect with but not something he had participated in.

"My pleasure James now I fear we need get some sleep so that we

can figure what our next step is tomorrow." Her voice cracked as she spoke the carefree time of picking a name was over.

They both got ready for bed in silence, each moving to one of the two beds in the room. The lights went out and both were left with their own thoughts staring up at the ceiling wishing it were a different ceiling. Both knew that the last few hours were over and tomorrow reality would settle back in around them. The hollowed numbness that was currently present would leave and in its place would be a deep gaping wound. One that would never truly heal but would scab over and that scab would be torn off again and again.

**6 Hours and 5 Minutes Before**

Rose woke up, gasping for breath, she looked over and James was still asleep. It was odd seeing The Doctor's face on someone else. James looked as though his sleep was just as fretful as hers, covers were all over the bed his face was scrunched up. Her dreams had left her clothes soaked through with sweat. He had stood there telling her she wasn't good enough for him, that she was a lowly human so she only rated a human version of him. As she replayed the dreams her stomach churned. Rose got out of bed and ran to the bathroom she turned on the shower to drown out the sound of being sick.

After her stomach was empty she stood up and looked into the mirror. Her eyes looked empty even to her. It was hard to believe that not too long ago she had been so happy running to her Doctor. Hugging him, thinking she had finally made it back to him. She brushed her teeth and stepped into the shower and once there she released it all. Her body collapsed in on it's self. Shoulders slumping, arms wrapping around her torso. The picture was one of feeling pain throughout ones whole body and that what was happening with Rose. Her loss was sending sickening pain through each limb, each organ and each thought. She felt as though she were dying or maybe only as if she wanted to die.

The tears came and she couldn't stop them. She had been so close, after years she had found her way back to him and he left her. She knows it hurt him but right now she didn't care, all that mattered was that he left her. He had promised never to do that to her. Now she had to look after a man that wore his face, had his memories but was not him. Her heart broke and she didn't know if it could be healed this time. She broke and she didn't know how she would hide it from her friends, from her family and from James.

After the tears stopped and her emotions were numbed she stepped out of the shower. Again she looked in the mirror and again wondered at how defeated she looked. No sparkle in her eyes, they were red rimmed and swollen from crying, her cheeks were gaunt and her mouth held no hint of a smile but it more than that she thought. Her posture was old was broken was hunched in on herself. She calmly dressed and stepped out of the bathing room and there he was. He was just standing there looking worried. He didn't have the right to be worried.

She didn't mean to, she didn't know where it came from but she walk up to him hit him. Her hand slapping his chest over and over again and she heard yelling not realizing that it came from her. Finally she could make out the words and the voice as it sobbed, " How could you, do you know how hard I worked to get to you, I left everything for you, everything and you leave me behind like unwanted baggage. How could you do that to me you promised, you promised and I believed you, don't you get it I love you and you don't care. You can't even say it to me, yes it needs saying. Why you couldn't you let me have the words. I need them. I hate you."

Rose came back to herself and she felt his arms wrap around her, breathed him in and started crying again because his arms didn't hold her the same way The Doctor's did. He didn't even smell the same as The Doctor it was so so close but just different enough to remind her, to hurt her. His voice came through to her ears

"I'm so sorry Rose, I'm so sorry, let it out."

"Oh God, I am so sorry. You didn't deserve that, James you don't deserve that. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to. I just came out and there you were looking.. "

"I know Rose," James cut her off, "I know." He held her and until the sobs stopped his own eyes leaking. A part of him wondered how He could have done this to her.

**23 hours and 55 minutes after leaving the beach**

The Doctor felt uneasy. For some reason the words were haunting him _One will still die._ The words echoed through his mind. He tried to brush it off but he couldn't. He tried to tell himself he had fixed it, that no one would die. Mentally he went through his list.

Jack, Mickey and Martha were in Cardiff. He had dropped them off safely just blocks away from Torchwood. Sarah Jane was safe with her son. Jackie, Rose and his double were safe in the parallel world. Oh that one hurt quite a bit to think on. He moved on quickly and didn't allow himself to linger on thoughts of Rose and his double together. The one in danger from the experience was Donna and he had hidden her memories behind a steel door. No they were all safe. Still the worry persisted.

Maybe he should just check in on them all. Well the ones he could. No he decided that it must just be the pain of losing all of them again. The worry was pushed to the back of his mind. If he had just focused on the worry a moment longer he would have realized that just because Donna Noble was endanger of dying doesn't mean she was the one to die.

**5 Minutes Before**

Rose just needed some time to think she needed time away from everyone trying to coddle her. So that is what she told her mom, Pete and James. She figured she'd take a walk to the shop grab some type of sweet and then go to the park and sit take some time to think. Maybe stay until the stars came out.

She wasn't really watching where she was going or paying attention to the people around her. She didn't see the man exiting the café with a drink, she didn't see the rushed girl running to catch the bus and she didn't see that timing had put her in the worst place possible. The only thing on her mind was the Doctor and his eyes on the beach the sadness that she saw reflected in his eyes.

**53 Seconds Before**

A shop girl late for work ran weaving and knocking into people the crowd apologizing as she rushed to work. A man left a café with his much needed hot caffeinated drink, he was tired and needed this badly as he went to the tube on his way back to the office. He hadn't taken a sip yet knowing it would still be too hot to drink, so he didn't realize the lid wasn't on properly as he walked to the tube his thoughts already a frenzy thinking about the project coming due.

The shop girl ran into the elbow of a man and never looked back. The man jumped back to avoid getting scalded by his hot drink as the lid popped off, twisting as he did so to yell at the girl. His case hit another young woman lost in thought not realizing she was very close to the tube entrance.

**4 Seconds Before**

Rose Tyler felt something hit her hip. Rose Tyler felt her body go off balance, she tried to catch herself but there was no ground where she stepped, no support when she reached out her hand. Rose Tyler felt the air rushing around her and she briefly wondered, _is this was how he had felt falling into the pit_, it almost felt like freedom.

**1 Second Before Rose Tyler Died**

Rose Tyler felt sudden blinding pain when her head hit the edge of the railing. She saw her Doctors face when she said she came back for him, the crooked smile with that gloating little laugh. She saw his face when he heard someone would die. Rose Tyler felt a moment of happiness in knowing he would never know, he would always picture her happy with his clone. She felt sorrow that she never got to say goodbye, that her family and James would be alone after all and then Rose Tyler felt nothing.

**24 Hours after leaving the beach.**

The Doctor felt an overwhelming sense of loss. His body ached, his soul cried out, and both of his heart stopped for just second or two. His hand rose to his cheek and he wondered when he had started to cry. Even his ship seemed lost in the pain of those two seconds. Of course the ship knew why.

Somewhere lost in time and space a Dalek saw the death of a companion.

**1 Second After**

Rose Tyler felt very confused as she watched people rush around her body. Two thoughts crossed her mind. One, _I'm dead_ and two_ I've faced cybermen, Daleks, werewolves, dimension jumps and I get done in by falling down some stairs. That just not right._


	3. What is Lost

What is Lost

By Remilyon

Disclaimer: don't own it. Never going to own it wish I did though.

Rose didn't know what to think as people gather around her body. Some tried to stop the flow of blood that came from her head. She reached up to where the wound should be but there was no pain, no gash, no blood on her hand when it pulled away. She waited while there as they tried to bring life back to her body. As if in a tunnel she heard some call for help.

"Someone should call my mum," she told them but no one responded to her. She reached out and tried to grab the arm of the closest person. She didn't go through them like in the movies no it was just that they couldn't feel her. She felt the pressure of the touch but no real details; it was odd like being numb.

She went with her body as they transported her to the closest hospital. Her eyes followed the movements of the men working so hard to bring her back. She was waiting for that moment when they would shock her back into her body like what happens on the tv, she would sit up gasping for breath and learn never to wander near steps again. Life never came back to her body and her lungs never took that gasping breath. She listened as they pronounced her dead. It was only then that she started to cry.

"No wake up, you stupid ape body, just wake up. You can't be dead. I can't be dead." She stayed with her body as they took her belongings. She heard them call Pete but didn't really hear the call. How was she supposed to watch this? Where was her bright light to lead her away? She didn't want to see or hear her mum find out. She realized this was real, no dream. There was no coming back from this. She was dead.

She had left her family alone with no hope that she would ever come back, no lie that she was fine out there in the world somewhere. James, Oh God James was going to be alone. There would be no watching Tony grow up and she had already hugged him for the last time, told him his last bedtime story. James wouldn't have a hand to hold as he figured out being human. Her mum would have to face one of her biggest fears and there was nothing Rose could do about it. She was dead. She would never be able to find a way back to Mickey, Jack and the Doctor. She would never have the chance to kiss him to hold him. No she couldn't be dead there was too much left to do. Too many goodbyes and hellos left unsaid. This couldn't be right, someone somewhere got it wrong. This couldn't be the end of her story. No she had too much to live for to be dead. Her chest felt tight and she felt the tears dripping down her face.

She felt physically ill as the glimpses of the life she would never have flashed before her eyes.

Find her way back and hugging the Doctor.

Seeing Mickey and watching him find the one.

Laughing with James.

Getting to really talk to Jack.

Traveling in the Tardis again

The Doctor smiling at her as she explains how she came back for him again.

Rose didn't know how long she had sat there, her thoughts in chaos, before she heard his voice in the hallway.

"No it's not her. I won't believe it her until I see her." James voice it was thick with fear. The door to the room where she was opened and she saw him push it close. He just stood there a moment his brown eyes were fearful as he stared at the sheet covering her body. He stepped closer one step at a time hesitantly as though he didn't really want to get closer. Finally he was there she watch as he lifted his hand to the sheet and started to pull.

"No James don't" she ran towards him and tried to stop the fingers griping the cloth. She didn't want him to see her this way.

His gasped "Rose" broke her heart. His eyes never left her face as he stared down with what looked to be remorse and guilt. He reached out and grasped her body's hand. "No, No this is wrong you are never this cold. You're warm and bright and vibrant and Alive. Your face is expressive, smiling not like this never like this Rose. " She stood behind him and placed her hand on his hoping to give him some type of comfort. He continued to whisper "I didn't get enough time with you Rose Tyler. If only I had been there maybe I could have saved you. Everyone needs a hand to hold, why wasn't mine there when you needed it? I'm so sorry Rose. If he had just taken you with him maybe…He would have there for you . I'm Sorry."

"No this wasn't your fault stop it James. I'm fine. There was nothing you could do. You don't need this guilt let this go. I'm in a better place yeah" Rose tried whispering in his ear as he cried over her body. She didn't know what to do. " Please James be strong, I need for you to be strong because when you walk out those doors, I need you to take care of my family. Please James I know it's a lot to ask but please. Live and be brilliant okay." She hugged him and could only hope on some level he was able to take comfort in her. "I'm so sorry that I'm not gonna be there for you. I'm not gonna be able to hold your hand, I'm sorry so sorry James."

She wasn't expecting a reply but he whispered. "I know you would be here if you could Rose. No feeling bad for me okay, I'll live a great fantastic life for us both okay. I'm going to make it through. A survivor I am. And don't worry I'll be there for your family. After all I think of them as my family too, you were always my family by extension..." He trailed off as leaned down and kissed her forehead before pulling the sheet back up. "Rose with time I think I might've come to love you as much as he did if not the same way. I'll miss you and Rose Tyler you were brilliant." with those words he walked away.

She followed him out the door and immediately wished she had stayed inside the room. Her mum looked up from the floor as the doors opened her eyes were hopeful for not even a second. As soon as she saw him, shoulders down and curved in and eyes still fighting tears, the hope fled and she stood her purse crashing to the floor not even caring the her possessions were rolling over the hospital floor. His eyes overflowed and the tears were slipping down his cheeks as he gave Jackie the news his other self always feared having to give.

"No she not dead. Tell me that wasn't my baby girl in there. Please tell me they were wrong." She begged him her knees collapsing. James caught her before she hit the floor. " No you're lying. No no no NOOOOOOO. That's not my daughter it's not" Jackie sobbed against his shoulder staring at the door behind him. Then she was hitting him as she screamed " No that's not her. She's fine, she is fine. She going to come through the door and wonder what the fuss is about because my Rose is not in there. She can't be. ROSE! Rose" James only held her tighter as she lost the energy to do anything but cry against him and call out for Rose. He held her until Pete came through the doors then gave her over to her husband for the level comfort only the other man could give.

As he went to take a step back Jackie latched on to him and Rose could hear her say "no you stay right here I need you, you're her family, you are one of the few people that truly knows Rose."

Rose still standing at the doors cried for her family "I'm sorry I should have paid attention, I should have watched where I was going. I'm so sorry mum, I'm so sorry." But Jackie never heard her.


	4. A Promise Kept

A Promise Kept

By Remilyon

I know that everyone is wondering where I'm going with this and while the journey has been fight between the muses and me the end has always been clear.

Rose closed her eyes against the picture her family made clinging to each other. She wanted to comfort them but at the same time she didn't want be here anymore to hear them grieving for her. She knew it was selfish but she wanted to someone to comfort her. Her mind went to Mickey; he had always given the best comfort hugs. He had helped her so much when she was grieving over being stuck in this universe the first time. She could really use one of those hugs right now.

Rose was pulled from her thoughts by how quiet things had gotten. She opened her eyes and was shocked to see that she was no longer in the door of her hospital room. Her family was no longer standing in front of her. No she was in an unfamiliar room or an odd dungeon with computer tech and desks. It was dark and she was almost positive that this room was underground with its rock walls that brought back many memories of being stuck in a prison with...what? Was that a screech?

Rose looked up fearfully and was confronted with the sight of a (there was no way this could be real) pterodactyl flying above her, in the same blooming room as her. Rose scrambled back keeping her eyes on the beast in the air. Not noticing that she knocked into a desk until she saw the papers flying. Her eyes flew between the dinosaur and the paper as she realized that she had interacted with something. Her hip kinda hurt. She really felt that and it really hurt. She froze again as a voice call out.

"Oi stop messing around, I thought I told you all to leave while I sort this out. Ain't gonna anything fixed if you keep messing about."

It was a familiar voice that was soon followed by a familiar face coming up from under one of the desk. Mickey. She watched as he took a survey of the room. Her hopes were raised as his eyes passed over the room and then dashed when they went passed her and to the mess she had left on the floor. Frantic Rose tried to move something else, anything to get his attention, to prove she was real but now nothing responded to her touch. She could feel the resistance file against her fingers but it wouldn't move. It just sat there taunting her being still as though she wasn't pushing against it. What was going on? She had just bumped in to a desk hard enough to cause paper to fly. Why couldn't she do it again? Tears of frustration grew in her eyes as nothing on the desk responded to her touch.

So focused on trying to make something move Rose didn't notice Mickey move until he was right next to her, bending down and muttering to himself. His mutters made her smile he was complaining about this being a freaky place and things moving on their own. Finally he shouted out his voice echoing across the empty room.

"Jack are you messing with me or are you playing with something up there?"

Rose couldn't believe it she thought she would never see him again and yet here he was standing in front of her. Tears welled in her eyes as she reached out for his shoulder automatically wanting to get his attention. Her fingers were within a hairs breath of him when a booming voice startled her.

"Mickey who or what are you talking to down here?" Captain Jack came down the stairs. He looked good, alive and solid. Rose bit back a cry as she walked over to greet Jack at the bottom step. She really hadn't gotten a chance to speak to him last time she had been in this world, there was never any time. Now she would never get to. She just stood there watching them interact and took note of the changes. Jack looked older somehow not physically but his eyes almost reminded her of the Doctor's. Looking between them she really wished she could get a smile, hear stories about some alien that tried to kill Mickey or Jack had tried to hit on.

"Jack, Mickey, I've missed you" Focusing on Jack, "I'm sorry Jack I'm so sorry for what I did to you, I'm sorry" she reached up to cradle his face. She thought maybe just maybe he felt it a little because his eyes closed and his head tilted towards her hand.

"Something knocked into this table and sent papers flying. I though everyone had left so I can fix the systems and make those upgrades with no distraction. I was over there so I couldn't have done it. Jack, please tell me you were playing with some type of alien tech up there." Mickey just stood there face somehow hopeful and sour at the same time while waiting for Jacks reply.

Jack shook himself from the feeling of serenity that had just coursed over him before shaking his head at Mickey.

Rose stood back and watched Jack and Mickey discuss what could have caused the disruption. It was good for Rose to see them together it reminded her of how much they had both changed. The man Mickey had been when she left with the Doctor would never have felt comfortable standing with Jack Harkness. No, that man would have been slouched down not meeting Jack's eyes and defiantly not exchanging ideas with confidence. But being in that other world had changed him made him sure of who he is and what he can do.

Jack poor Jack because of her had lost something; she could see it in his eyes. His eyes were dulled some from seeing too much and losing too much. She had told the Doctor once that Jack reminded her of him but with dinner and dancing, now he just reminded her of the Doctor. He still had the charm and grin but somehow it didn't reach his eyes the same way. She wished she could take it back allow him peace. Maybe that was it the missing piece of Jack it was the knowledge that one day he would be at peace but there would always be another day of pain.

By now Jack and Mickey were reviewing the security footage for what could have happened. Rose watched them as they played it over and over again.

"See you hear the pterodactyl then the desk get bumped to can see it happen. It moves just a little as though something bumped into it. But I can't see anything."

"You know she has a name, My…"

"I'm not calling her that and I'm not treating her as though she's a pet when she's dangerous and could kill me. Almost did." The last part was muttered under Mickey's breath.

Rose couldn't help but raise a hand to cover her mouth as she laughed. This is what she needed to see them being okay.

"You were new and scared her by screaming like a girl when you saw her."

"Just shut up and watch the footage see if you can view anything Cheesecake."

Rose opened her mouth to comment before she remembered. Her mouth closed and a hollow ache settled in her gut. Here she was with two of the best people she knew, two of the people she loved and she couldn't hug them, talk to them or banter with them. She couldn't throw her arms around them and cry on their shoulders for being left again or for dying or anything. She couldn't even see herself on the screen where they were reflected .how could she expect them to see her when she couldn't.

" Shit, Mickey come look at this there was rift activity right here in the hub." And then they were scrambling looking at different monitors.

"I'm not seeing anything come through but according to the readings something did."

"What?"

"I don't know what but whatever it is it must still be here right?"

"I don't know it could come through and then went right back."

" No, I'm right here if the monitors picked me up you've got to be able to see me, hear me, sense me something come on please figure this out." Rose was getting excited now because if their equipment picked her up it would change everything.

"We can do a full scan of the hub and if something is here we'll pick it up." Jack calmly walked over to a computer and punched in a code."

Rose's hope grew as she watched them watching the results of the scan. If she shows up on the rift readings then she has to be something she has to be real made of something and if she is real then she would find a way to contact them. They might be able to fix her. But even as she thought it Rose knew it was wrong what could they do to fix being dead. There was nothing wrong with her to fix she just was a ghost? Spirit? Residual consciousness? She didn't even know what she was.

By the time the scan was done and they spoke it was no surprise to her that nothing was found. No she was working another question. How did she get from the hospital in that world to Torchwood in this one. She had been watching her family grieve and feeling helpless then she was here. No, shock went through her, that wasn't right she had been thinking about Mickey and how much she needed a hug. Then, she was here. Right here in the same room Mickey was in, the person she had be wishing to be near.

"I'm sorry guys but if this works I'll be back later. I'll find a way to communitcate but I have to, if you could see me you'd know I have to.

So she thought of the Doctor she pictured his face, his smile, she heard his voice techno babble, rambling. She thought of how much she missed him and needed him. Finally, she thought of how much she loved him and as she closed her eye his voice echoed and in his voice she heard all the words he never said in the ones he did, '_I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye.'_

She never heard Jack as he whispered to Mickey. " Did you feel that?"

Rose was scared to open her eyes what if it didn't work? What if she were still at Torchwood what if she never got to see the Doctor again. Or what if she opened her eyes and it was a past version of him or a future version traveling with someone else. Worse what if she opened her eyes and she had arrived on the Tardis while she was still with him. How would she deal with knowing what was coming? Could she sit there and watch as they approached the end of their time together. Could…?

"What was that for? I didn't deserve that now did I?" Rose opened her eyes to a familiar sight. The Doctor was under the console, his legs and conversed feet sticking out. "Now, you stop that. I did nothing to get shocked. What has gotten you so excited?"

He scooted out from under the Tardis console and Rose held her breath as his eyes move to her and exhaled as he passed over her just as Jack and Mickey had. His hand caressed his ship as closed his eyes. It was a sight that Rose had seen many times as she traveled with her Doctor, him communicating with the ship while drawing a hand across the closest part of her. As least he didn't lick the old girl Rose had a feeling the Tardis would not have appreciated it. She heard an agreeing hum in her head. _Can you feel me?_ She thought to the Tardis and felt the warm hum again. _Why can't he sense me then? If you can shouldn't he? _The hum was lower and Rose understood that it meant no.

Here she was back with him and he didn't know. She studied him now knowing he couldn't see her. His shirt seemed slightly damp and his eyes were dead like she had never seen them before. She walked over to him.

"What have you done to yourself?" she almost cried when he stood there still staring off at nothing. _What happened? Where's Donna, she's supposed to be looking after him. He needs someone here for him. _The Tardis hummed again and then Rose was assaulted with a barrage of imagines.

Donna and the Doctor in the console room

Donna repeating the same word over and over again

The Doctor asking if she knows what happening

Donna Crying

The Doctor apologizing

The Doctor carrying Donna out of the Tardis

The Doctor coming back in soaking

Rose felt the tears coming down her face as she the images stopped. Oh her poor Doctor. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around the too still man and held him. "Doctor how could you do this alone? Why didn't you tell me? I would have stayed no matter what. I'm sorry that I can't be here for you."

"I don't know what's got you so excited right now but I'll never get the transient capacitor repairs done if you don't stop shocking me." Even his voice slow and dulled as though he had to force himself to care. She didn't know that she had ever seen him so broken. He wandered around the console there was no dancing, no wild jerky movements he just seemed wrong and lost. She wrapped her hand in his and watched as he sighed and seemed to slump farther.

5 months later

"What the bloody hell was that are you trying to get yourself killed?" she screamed in his face. Of course since he couldn't hear her he had no reaction.

"if it weren't for me you would have dead. What were you thinking leaving the sonic behind?" over the past couple of months Rose had learned a few things.

Fun fact number one, she could interact with things but only when no one was around. It was as if they existed on two different planes and hers was not as strong so if someone was present she stopped for lack of a better word existing.

Fun fact number two, the Doctor had clearly lost his mind. Despite coming across several people who wanted to travel with him he kept traveling alone. He needed someone with him to balance him.

Fun fact number three, the git had a death wish, it was like he went out searching for danger. Not the same way danger found him. This was him making bad situation worse.

All of this stirred together in a large pot until this last adventure had occurred. Before he had even stepped out of the Tardis she had been worried. But then she saw his eyes go over the sonic and just leave it. He never went anywhere without it. Then when she has followed him she had recognized the race of alien surrounding them because the Doctor had pointed them out in a market once said they were a highly aggressive race and not to cross them. The first thing she sees him do, pick a fight. Apparently with their prince, a crime punishable by death. If the holding area hadn't been void of any life outside of the Doctor she would have been able to unlock the cell door. Thank god for alien control rooms.

When they got back to the Tardis he had acted as though nothing had happened. That he hadn't almost dies in fact he seemed oddly happy about it. Then he was on about the next trip and setting course

3months later

He wasn't sleeping; he wasn't eating properly just wondering from one hazard to another. She helped as much as she could unlocking jails ensuring when he collapsed from injuries that he was taken care of. Actually she was getting quiet good at taking care of him. It seemed she was able to do more as he was constantly injured to the point of passing out.

Right now though he needed rest. Walking to the console room she placed her hands on the struts and thought to the Tardis. _Girl I'm getting worried about him what do you say we give him a break yeah. Do your thing and take him where he needs to be not where he wants go next time, okay. _She felt the Tardis hum in agreement with her worry.

She watched as her Doctor came into the control room minus the purple goo he had been covered in before. His eyes were old and more tired than she had ever seen them look even when she had first met him. He walked around the center of the room pulling levers and pressing buttons but this wasn't the manic dance she had always watched in the past. Ever since she had stepped foot on the ship it seemed he had become more and more depressed. She listened as he murmured to the ship "why are you taking me there no please not there."

She watched as he begged and pleaded with the Tardis to take him anywhere else. She wondered what could be so bad that it brought tears to her Doctors eyes. What about this destination made him voice go soft and broken. His body screamed defeat as the Tardis refused to change course. His shoulders slumping further, his head hanging lower. She walked over and though she knew he couldn't feel her she hugged him. She placed her hand on his cheek and swore she could feel his skin. She stood there wrapped around him he almost seemed to slump into her embrace. Her hand reached up to his cheek and she looked into his face. He was pale; his eyes were closed as tears seeped between his lashes and down his cheeks. His jaw was clenched so hard she could see the muscles jumping. He took a deep shuddered breath before he spoke with his eyes still closed. "Why" his hand was reached out stroking the Tardis as he asked.

They landed so softly she didn't notice for studying him and suddenly she wondered if this was a bad idea if the Tardis and she shouldn't just leave it alone. Then he pulled from the embrace he didn't realize he was a part of and walked to the door. He turned and she swore he looked at her but when he spoke it was to the ship of course he was looking at the console that she was stand next to. "I don't know why you want me here but I'll go and when I come back we'll leave and never, I mean never come here again." With that he walked out the door.

She didn't follow she stayed behind with the console and asked "where did you bring us old girl, I thought we were trying to help this place seems to hurt him even more." A displeased hum went through her head "no it's not that I don't trust you I'm just worried I guess maybe he needs the adventure yeah to take him mind off it maybe he's not ready to deal with leaving us all behind just yet. Maybe I was wrong to suggest this." She felt the warm of the Tardis brush her mind in reassurance. For the first time since her death she felt warm as the Tardis hummed to her. After a while she felt the Tardis urging her out the doors.

"Okay I can take a hint." She smiled a soft sad smile at the ship before walking across to the open door. She found it odd that he didn't close it and she wondered why he would take that risk until she saw the view. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart broke for him and herself. Her hand coming to her chest as she took in the view ahead of her. No wonder he didn't want to come here she wouldn't want to come here without him.

He stood alone against a purple and orange sky the water below was reflecting the colors on dancing waves. In the sky there were dragons beautiful majestic dragons. So taken with the scene she didn't realize she has moved until she heard an echo of the memory that played in her head. His voice carried on the wind and she gasped. His eyes were once again closed but it wasn't the pain held there that made her gasp it was the words played in perfect sync with the ones in her head.

Whispered on the breeze they were carried to her ears, "How long are you going to stay with me?"

She took his hand knowing he couldn't feel it but wanting to feel closer to him and whispered back to him the promise she would keep even if he never knew it "Forever."

His hand twitched in hers she'd almost say it tightened and then his eyes opened with one word being breathed out "Rose."

( I leave it to you to decide in your own mind if Rose was finally solid again or if he was just remembering her.)

The end of Final Moments. Thank you to those who stayed with me through this journey.


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